Wednesday, April 06, 2005
goodbye... after having this blog blocked and constantly feeling like i'm fighting blogger, i've made the hard decision to pull the plug on this blog. perhaps it's my fault for not being as careful or whatever about what i write here, but it still makes me sad since this blog has recorded a very formative and precious time in my life...my first 18 months living in china. hereafter, i'll be updating an old xanga site, but will be writing more about everyday life here (email me for the address). my main purpose for keeping a blog anyways, is to be able to share life and thoughts with my friends back home whom i miss so much. but, such is the reality of life in china...sigh.
thanks for a good run, folks.
Friday, April 01, 2005
spring and sadness... spring arrived this past week with sunny skies and flowers in bloom. spent many hours on the train between shanghai and wuxi this week for work, and watching the farmers working in the passing fields, there was newness everywhere. spring is here...
inside though, i've been feeling only grief and sadness, triggered by the loss of my friends' newborn son this past week. it was sudden and has cast a shadow of reflection upon the bustle of spring. this is also the season of qing ming jie (grave sweeping) where chinese all over the country travel to tidy up their ancestor's graves and pay respects. the train is packed with entire families with flowers, prepared food, and paper money to offer by burning, to send cash to the other world.
clusters of villages with grey tiled roofs, large factories, canals and waterways, and children running down dirt roads, all passing by...a continuous stream of life. in the fields, ancient grave markers stand between the rows of crops, generations buried on the same land that farmers work each day...perhaps a reminder of how close the reality of life and death are.
was listening to this caedmon's song this morning on the train, and it spoke to me:
the prince of despair's been beaten
but the loser still fights
death's on a long leash
stealing my friends to the night
and everyone cries for the innocent
you say to love the guilty too
and i'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
so i'm working tearing back the roof
give me your hand to hold
'cause I can't stand to love alone
and love alone is not enough to hold us up
we've got to touch your robe...
