Wednesday, April 06, 2005
goodbye... after having this blog blocked and constantly feeling like i'm fighting blogger, i've made the hard decision to pull the plug on this blog. perhaps it's my fault for not being as careful or whatever about what i write here, but it still makes me sad since this blog has recorded a very formative and precious time in my life...my first 18 months living in china. hereafter, i'll be updating an old xanga site, but will be writing more about everyday life here (email me for the address). my main purpose for keeping a blog anyways, is to be able to share life and thoughts with my friends back home whom i miss so much. but, such is the reality of life in china...sigh.
thanks for a good run, folks.
Friday, April 01, 2005
spring and sadness... spring arrived this past week with sunny skies and flowers in bloom. spent many hours on the train between shanghai and wuxi this week for work, and watching the farmers working in the passing fields, there was newness everywhere. spring is here...
inside though, i've been feeling only grief and sadness, triggered by the loss of my friends' newborn son this past week. it was sudden and has cast a shadow of reflection upon the bustle of spring. this is also the season of qing ming jie (grave sweeping) where chinese all over the country travel to tidy up their ancestor's graves and pay respects. the train is packed with entire families with flowers, prepared food, and paper money to offer by burning, to send cash to the other world.
clusters of villages with grey tiled roofs, large factories, canals and waterways, and children running down dirt roads, all passing by...a continuous stream of life. in the fields, ancient grave markers stand between the rows of crops, generations buried on the same land that farmers work each day...perhaps a reminder of how close the reality of life and death are.
was listening to this caedmon's song this morning on the train, and it spoke to me:
the prince of despair's been beaten
but the loser still fights
death's on a long leash
stealing my friends to the night
and everyone cries for the innocent
you say to love the guilty too
and i'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
so i'm working tearing back the roof
give me your hand to hold
'cause I can't stand to love alone
and love alone is not enough to hold us up
we've got to touch your robe...
Sunday, March 27, 2005
one of the best easters in memory... of all the easters i have had (besides my baptism when i was 15), this was the most meaningful and special for me. had 16 friends over for a brunch feast and a sweet sweet time. a day in which i was reminded of why i love being in china. :)
consider this: "On Easter, more Anglicans will attend church in Kenya, Nigeria, South Africa, Tanzania and Uganda - each - than Anglicans and Episcopalians together will attend services in Britain, Canada and the U.S. combined.
More Roman Catholics will celebrate Easter Mass in the Philippines than in any European country. The largest church in the world is in South Korea. And more Christians will probably attend Easter services in China than in all of Europe together.
In short, for the first time since it began two millenniums ago, Christianity is no longer 'Western' in any very meaningful sense." - Nicholas Kristof, NYTimes 3/26/05
Friday, March 25, 2005
"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us--for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree." - gal 3:13
posted by grace I 3/25/2005 07:12:00 AM I 0 commentsWednesday, March 23, 2005
a race to the finish! every morning during my commute to the office in shanghai, i come across a scene that never ceases to amuse. each morning after i walk out of my apt complex, i need to cross an extremely busy 12 lane road to catch a cab to work. caoxi road has oncoming traffic coming in both directions, including 2 congested bike lanes on each side, a bus lane (with buses barreling down at top speed) and 2 lanes that empty straight off the highway onto the pedestrian crosswalk. there are two crossing guards on each side with whistles that bark gruffly in shanghainese, yelling at pedestrians during red lights to get the heck back on the sidewalk or turn into roadkill, and then giving the signal to go.
but the clincher is that the green light for the crosswalk is only 30 seconds. and mind you, many cars think red lights here are just suggestions. and bikers can be ruthless in riding right into pedestrians while busdrivers can be ruthless in picking off bikers...
so imagine us, a small crowd gathered on the north side of the street at a red light, shifting uneasily as if at the starting line of a race. the whistle blows, the light turns green and we're off! first i dart between the sea of bikes in the bike lane coming at us from the left, then comes 4 lanes of traffic (2 from the highway) with cars running the red light but horns blaring at us to get out of the way, then 4 lanes of cars in the other direction. by then i've stopped looking and have broken in an all out sprint (in heels) since the green light is flashing furiously.
but the "piece de la resistance" is the final lane, the bus lane. by then the light's already changed and the buses have jerked into motion, despite the stragglers in front of them, and i usually *just* make it as the bus blows by behind me, leaving me in a cloud of exhaust.
then i wave my arms in a victory sign...and a cab stops for me. yay!
it's frogger, chinese-style. :)
Monday, March 21, 2005
condi is my hero! US secretary state condoleeza rice was was in beijing this weekend. she did something great that she didn't have to do. i've always had a profound respect for her. sometimes when things at work get stressful, i think of her and how she has to diffuse global crises, practice impeccable diplomacy, protect the lives of millions, and she does it all with such poise and calm, has strong faith, time to rest, and also be one of the world's biggest football fans (her dream job is to be the NFL commisioner). one of my dreams is to meet her someday. :) you go girl!!! too bad she's already said she's not running in 2008 or it'd be condi vs. hillary in 2008!!
posted by grace I 3/21/2005 08:00:00 PM I 3 commentsSunday, March 20, 2005
news from da hood...
1) i have no idea what's going down with my blog...tim was over looking at it last night and we still couldn't figure out what the deal is. so this may or may not get posted. :(
2) i can't wait to see year of the yao...!!
3) after a week of getting barely 4-5 hrs a sleep a night, last night i finally konked out for 11 hrs and woke up this morning with a headache. one of the problems i have is that on top of my crazy work schedule, i insist of having some semblance of normalcy outside of work, ie: meeting up with people, hosting, etc. but my body keeps screaming to stop the madness...
3) i have discovered a new favorite breakfast ritual: oatmeal + brown sugar...yummm.
4) i am tired of people telling me what to do, to buck up, try harder and "be like Jesus." if that were possible, would i be in this mess in the first place? like jenn says, we need to be marinated in the gospel....why is that so hard?
5) karen was in china for spring break this week, and it was soooooo sweet to see her just for a few nights...
6) i am listening to the best of sixpence cd which i got in hk this past week.
7) i plan to do nothing today except sleep, journal and go to church.... :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
hola from hk. my blog broke mysteriously last week and somehow my last post about the orphan fund was deleted...owell. i'm here in this week for our company board meeting, releasing of our 2004 results and meeting with analysts/media. whenever we're here, it's always hard work but with little respites in between. on sunday i got to have lunch with susie after church and tomorrow night i'm hanging out with my old citi buddy, scarlette...woot! :)
here's a poem i found online the other day and expresses quite well the tension i feel between work and rest these days...any wisdom, friends?
I need margins in my life. But I am
Crammed right up against my limits of
timefocusemotionstrength
Therefore it doesn't take much for me to spill
over into the spaces,
Filling them until I have nowhere left to go.
I need margins. But everything in me wants to do
all I can. Be all I can be. Save the world
from sin and destruction.
Then I have so little time for rest and love.
So little time for quality so great is my quantity.
Rest and Love are segmented parts of my week,
teetering on the edge of my schedule
Where the slightest breath can knock them off,
treated like chaff when they are really marrow.
If I have a Palm Pilot that can keep track of all appointments;
if I have the ability to add more people to my schedule;
if I know all about grace and rest and love
but have not love and rest,
I am a tired disciple, a dim light, a busy Martha.
All that I have been taught tells me to do more.
Tells me that I can be God. That God needs me
in 100 places at once. That I can be Superman if I
beat my arms furiously enough against the air.
In order to make room for margins,
what will have to fall?
If I don’t make room for margins,
I will be falling.
~ "Cramped," by Marshall Benbow
