The NYPD Blue Drinking Game
Version 3.2, Copyright 1997 Alan Sepinwall
Created by Alan Sepinwall
With plenty of help from
Paul Sabourin, Patrick Mallon, Steve Wall,
Bryan O'Connor, Frank A. Lauro, Dennis Goeckel,
James Foust, Lori Karn, Gerald Ross, Geoff Falen,
Earl Baker, Dan Gingiss, Don Semmens, Eugene Kushnirksy,
Charles Quenneville, Andrea Atkin, Tamar Bihari,
Lois Casaleggi, Lori Hylan, Mark Vita, Doug Le,
Paul Bourque, Bradley Lindaas, Ed Holliman,
Lisa Rooney, Jim Hill, Sandy Bodzin, Dana H. Bayliss,
Eric Lomazoff, Roger Bright, Scott Hollifield,
Eric Stone, Jill Schmidle, ReverendBH, scarroll,
Kabir Mahadeva, Glenn Dunlap, Kathy Musson,
and your name here if you contribute!
(PLEASE NOTE: I just don't have time to update this game anymore, so
while I appreciate all the suggestions I've gotten, someone else is going
to have to implement them. Sorry.)
So, you may be asking, what is this? Very simple: TV show drinking games
are a tradition dating at least as far back as "The Bob Newhart Show,"
where fans would have a drink anytime a character said "Hi, Bob!" which,
of course, was very often. The idea is that every show has its basic
cliches, and fans should learn to enjoy and embrace them, and one way to
do that is to drink heavily whenever you spot one of them. :)
Below, there will be a list of rules for each character, with the amount
of liquor required for each being inversely proportional to the
likelihood of the event happening. In other words, if something happens
all the time, you only have to take one drink each time, and if something
is bound never to happen, you chug your entire drink.
For the teetotalers among you, this can still be fun just as an
intellectual excercise, and I welcome any and all contributions (half the
fun is just coming up with all the rules).
Some basic rules:
You can play this one of two ways: 1)Everyone drinks whenever any of
these things happens. However, this will probably result in a lot of very
hungover people come Wednesday morning. 2)Everyone picks two characters -
either Simone or Sipowicz and someone else - and drinks whenever something
from that list comes up. A third option is to be Simone, someone else, and
Sipowicz, but only drink club soda for Sipowicz. Your call.
There will also be a list of social drinks at the end, where everyone
*must* drink, regardless. These are things that might be done or said by
any character. There are also a couple that are applicable for either
Sipowicz or Simone but no one else, and those will have a seperate header.
The rest is pretty self-explanatory.
ENJOY!
New rules are listed in boldface type
DET. ANDY SIPOWICZ:
- Calls someone an asshole -- One drink for each "asshole"
- Uses any other common swear word ("hump," "prick," etc.) -- One
drink
- Uses a word or phrase you've never heard that sounds obscene (i.e.,
"dickfist") -- Two drinks
- Has an argument with Sylvia over a minor issue -- One drink
- Makes mumbled but eloquent apology to Sylvia -- one drink
- Walks into a bar -- One drink
- Someone offers him a drink -- Two drinks
- Makes a racial comment -- One drink
- Makes a racial comment to Fancy -- Two drinks
- Makes a reference to the late Andy Jr -- Two drinks
- Someone makes a crack about his weight or hairline -- One
drink
- Makes a wry comment that suggests a surprising amount of literary or
cultural knowledge -- One drink
- Hits a perp in the interview room -- One drink
- Threatens to hit a perp, but doesn't -- Two drinks
- Mocks Bobby's pigeons -- One drink
- Wears a long-sleeved shirt -- Chug
- He discusses his dog or his fish -- One drink
- We see his dog or his fish -- Two drinks
- Goes off the wagon yet again -- Pick your own favorite vice
(chocolate,
cigarettes, booze, or what have you) and overindulge it for the
rest of the show
- Bares his butt again -- chug the whole damn thing and pray
DET. BOBBY SIMONE:
- Says "Yeah, huh?" in response to any person's statement -- One
drink
- Fails to say "Yeah, huh?" by the end of the episode -- Chug at
end of show
- Uses the phrase "jammed up" or any derivation thereof -- One drink
- Uses bad grammar (e.g. "Do you know where your moms is at?") -- Two
drinks
- Dons those really cool sunglasses -- Two drinks
- Is not wearing at least one article of clothing on the job that is a
shade of brown or tan -- Chug
- Refers to his pigeons - One drink
- We see him tending to his birds - Two drinks
- Acts like John Kelly (your discretion) - Two drinks
- Appears to go too easy on a suspect - One drink
- Refers to his dead wife - One drink
- Acts overprotective of Diane - One drink
- Lightens up and realizes she can look after herself - Three drinks
- Someone from the old neighborhood visits - One drink
- Gets an earring, reveals that he has a law degree, and moves
back to LA - Chug
DET. GREG MEDAVOY:
- Stammers - One drink
- Someone imitates his stammer - Two drinks
- Flirts with a woman unsuccessfully - One drink
- Obsesses about his weight - One drink
- Obsesses about the traffic, the price of coffee, his rent, or any
other banal issue - Two drinks
- Gets back with Marie yet again - Two drinks
- Announces that he and Marie are quits "for good" - One drink
- Seems confident and self-assured - Chug
DET. JAMES MARTINEZ:
- Volunteers to go work the canvas - One drink
- Andy, Bobby, or Diane volunteer to work the canvas for him - Chug
- Is wearing ugly clothes - One drink (once per episode)
- His clothes actually match - Chug
- Acts like a complete imbecile while trying to impress a beautiful
woman - One drink
- Acts charming and intelligent while trying to impress a beautiful
woman - Three drinks
- His father appears - One drink
- He calls his father "Papi" - Two drinks
- Someone comments on the fact that his father looks like he's only
a few years older than him - Chug
DET. DIANE RUSSELL:
- Refers to her alcoholism - One drink
- Refers to her mother, father, or brother Dougie - Two drinks
- Her brother objects to being called "Dougie" while in his
late twenties - Chug
- Dresses like a hooker - Two drinks
- Is not on duty when she dresses like a hooker - Chug
- Flirts with Bobby at an inappropriate moment or setting - Two drinks
- Has a storyline entirely unrelated to Bobby - Three drinks
- Has a nervous breakdown in the middle of the squadroom and screams out
"I'M NOT DANA DELANY, DAMMIT!" - Chug
LT. ARTHUR FANCY:
- Asks a detective to restate information that the viewers already
know about - One drink
- Takes an active role in solving a case - Three drinks
- Asks someone to come into his office - One drink
- Chews someone out in his office - Two drinks
- We see his family - Two drinks
- Someone refers to him as "Lou" (short for lieutenant) - One drink
- Complains about how tough it is to be black in they NYPD - One drink
- Overlooks a subordinate's minor screw-up (i.e. Kelly being late to work, Greg
and Donna having an office romance) - One drink
- Smiles -- Three Drinks
- Smiles more than once in an episode -- Chug at episode's end
ADA SYLVIA COSTAS:
- Appears only in a domestic capacity - One drink at episode's end
- Is actually shown doing her job - Three drinks
- Gets frustrated by Andy's stubborn ways - One drink
- Does anything that requires her to apologize to Andy - Chug
SIPOWICZ OR SIMONE:
- Give their card to a hurting person and tell them to "give me a call
if you need to talk" - Two drinks
- Play good cop, bad cop - One drink
- Simone is the bad cop - Two drinks
- Play bad cop, bad cop - Two drinks
- Tell a suspect that another suspect "gave you up" - One drink
- They're lying when they say the above - Two drinks
- Use the death penalty to scare a suspect into confessing - One drink
- Tell a relative or friend of a murder victim, "I'm sorry for your
loss" - One drink
SOCIAL DRINKS:
- Anyone meets someone and starts a conversation in the stairwell - one drink
- Any of the detectives appears in uniform - two drinks
- Any two people have a conversation in the locker room - one drink
- One or more of the above is nude - two drinks
- Any character appears nude in any other "natural" setting (i.e.,
bedroom, bathroom, the Anti-Crime "crib") - One drink
- Any character appears nude in an unnatural setting (i.e., One
Police Plaza, the squadroom, Fancy's house) - three drinks
- A suspect does not ask for a lawyer - one drink
- A suspect lawyers up - three drinks
- A detective asks someone, "Do you/did he/did she have enemies?" - one drink
- Anyone other than Sipowicz says "Asshole" - two drinks
- Any two characters, male and female, hold hands as a sign of undying
love (or, at least, friendship) - one drink
- Any two characters, male and male, hold hands for any reason - chug
- A transition between scenes (or coming out of commercial) is
accomplished by a quick, blurry montage of lower Manhattan - One
drink
If any of the following terminology is used by anyone:
- "reach out" - one drink
- "like" used as "suspect" ("We like these X brothers in that
armed robbery...") - one drink
- "make" ("We liked those X brothers in that robbery, but the
case didn't make") - one drink
- "on the job" - one drink
- "lay a loaf" - three drinks
- "Interview One" - one drink
- "Skell" used to describe a small-time perp - two drinks
- "bust your/my/his/her balls" - one drink
- "squeeze your/my/his/her shoes" (used in place of any
busting of balls) - two drinks
- "lawyer up" - One drink
If a guest star:
- dies - one drink
- leaves the show - one drink
- gets naked - two drinks
- ever appeared on Hill Street Blues - two drinks
- plays their HSB character (i.e., the "I'M BUCK NAKED!!!!!" guy) - chug
- Makes an in-jokey reference to a previous acting role (i.e., Roy
Larson losing his "flash money") - two drinks
- Is an incompetent cop - one drink
- Is a competent male cop - three drinks
- Is a competent female cop - One drink
- Is an incompetent female cop - Chug